Since we were little, many of us have heard “The Golden Rule” so many times that we have stopped thinking about what it truly means. When we hear,
“Love your neighbor as yourself”
we often focus on loving your neighbor. But have we forgotten the rest?
In order to love our neighbor as ourselves, we have to…love ourselves.
What’s more, in order to love our neighbors well, we must first love ourselves well.
STOP POURING FROM AN EMPTY CUP
There’s a reason why they tell you to put your oxygen mask on first before helping others. If your need for oxygen isn’t met, you will quickly stop functioning. Then you won't be able to help anyone else.
We all have a human need for love and care. If you are running on empty, constantly giving without replenishing, you soon have nothing left to offer. Self-love and self-care aren’t selfish—they are essential. We’ve been conditioned to believe that self-care is selfish, that productivity is our worth, and that rest must be earned. But tending to ourselves isn’t indulgence—it’s survival. It’s reclaiming our energy, our wellbeing, our magic.
When you fill your own cup, you’re not just sustaining yourself; you’re creating an overflow of abundance that is lavished on all those around you.
ACTIVATE THE LAW OF ATTRACTION
The Law of Attraction was first popularized in the mid-1800s by the New Thought movement, which sought to unify spiritual and philosophical wisdom across traditions. This movement laid the foundation for much of today’s self-help and manifestation teachings.
The Law of Attraction is based on the reality that everything around us is alive with Energy. The world around us may look solid and stagnant, but physics assures us that it isn’t. Everything in the universe is vibrating at its own unique frequency.
We are Energy. Our actions are Energy. Our thoughts are Energy.
The Law of Attraction states that “like attracts like”, or as author James Redfield summarizes, “Where Attention goes Energy flows”. When we shift the energy around something, it creates a ripple effect of shifted energy, aligning to the new frequency.
Many of us experienced a great illustration of this principle as children. Do you remember being in a little pool and walking in a circle with your playmates? As you shifted the energy of your movement, the water in the pool all began to flow along. Soon the whole little pool was flowing in a new direction – you were in your own little whirlpool of swirling Energy.
LIVING ATTRACTION
So how does The Law of Attraction apply here? Let's take the example of living the same day two different ways.
The Bad Day Lived - Way 1
You are having a rough morning, and you wish your partner would comfort you, but they are busy doing yard work. You bring your concern to them and, instead of offering comfort, they tell you all the things you should have done to prevent it and all the things you should do to fix it. You end up getting into a squabble. You end the interaction feeling uncomforted.
You call your friend to tell them how unhelpful your partner was and, instead of validating you, your friend says they can see your partner’s point of view. You end the conversation feeling invalidated.
You go into work with a contagious bad mood. In your morning meeting, you start complaining about problems you're having with a coworker's performance. Some colleagues who tend to get caught up in negativity join you. Soon everyone is complaining. You leave the meeting and the problems seem bigger than ever.
What went wrong?
Rather than focusing your energy on comforting yourself, you focused on your lack of comfort. Instead of attracting comfort, you attracted more lack.
Rather than focusing your energy on validating yourself, you focused your energy on needing validation. Instead of attracting validation, you attracted more need.
Rather than shifting your thoughts around your coworker, you focused your thoughts on your frustration. Instead of attracting a shift in your mindset, you attracted more frustration.
Like attracted like. You waited for someone to fill your cup all morning, and by lunchtime your cup was even emptier.
Of course, as humans we need the love, affection, and support of one another. Having healthy relationships and healthy boundaries for how we will be treated is vital. Both/and, we need the love, affection and support of ourselves! By meeting our own needs with deep love and care, we shift the energy of our lives. We become a magnet for the kinds of relationships and experiences that reflect love back to us.
The [Bad?] Day Lived - Way 2
Now, imagine you took a different approach to that same day.
You have a rough morning, but instead of carrying that energy forward, you take a deep breath and make yourself and your partner a cup of coffee. You bring the coffee out to the back yard and you both sit down and enjoy a moment of comfort together, grounding in the present and watching the birds. You leave the interaction comforted. And so does your partner.
You spend some time reassuring yourself about your bad day. You call your friend and share the rough start to your morning and how you are reassuring and taking care of yourself. They go with the flow and bring additional words of care and affirmation. You leave the conversation feeling validated and connected. And so does your friend.
You go to your morning meeting and state the problem you’re having with your coworker while staying intentionally compassionate towards them. You suggest a few solutions you’ve brainstormed. Colleagues take note of how professionally you’re handling this. They speak up sharing your positive tone and suggest some great solutions you haven’t thought of yet. You leave the meeting feeling relieved and seeing all the solutions at your fingertips. And so do your colleagues.
By lunch, the energy of your entire day has shifted. And so has the energy around everyone you interacted with.
SELF-CARE AS A DAILY PRACTICE
Many think of self-care as an occasional luxury—bubble baths, spa days, a weekend getaway. But true self-care is a daily practice of tending to yourself like you would a dearly loved child. It’s not just about pampering; it’s about meeting your own physical and emotional needs. Just because we grow up, doesn’t mean we don’t still need to prioritize our basic needs!
The Basics: Caring for Yourself Like a Precious Child
Hydration: Your body thrives on water. Pour yourself a glass in your fresh, clean, favorite water bottle.
Nourishment: Cook yourself balanced, tasty, nutritious meals and snacks. Stop the constant “doing” and pause to sit at the table and enjoy your food. Honor regular mealtimes to make sure your body consistently has what it needs to thrive.
Movement: Don’t you sometimes wish you had a parent to monitor your screen time for you? Parent yourself and turn off the screen for a bit. Enjoy regular, joyful movement. Gentle walks in nature, a favorite yoga class, or dancing in your living room. Move in ways that feel good.
Rest: Protect your sleep. Set a bedtime and honor it. Make your room a place you’re excited to return to every night. Get that bedspread that you love and pick out your favorite pajamas. Create a bedtime routine. Bath, book, bed is a good go-to no matter your age!
Nurturing: Validation, Comfort, Encouragement, Reassurance, Love. We all need and deserve for our emotional gardens to be well-tended, not only by others, but also by ourselves. Be your own gardener. Take the time to pull out the weeds and learn about their roots. Water your emotional garden with words of affirmation, healthy inner dialogue, self-compassion, and self-care.
THE ART OF EXTRAVAGANT SELF-LOVE
Let’s step beyond the basics. How do you not only meet your needs, but love yourself well? If you want to live a magical life, don’t wait for it to happen to you. Weave little moments of magic, love, and care into every day. Engage your senses in a way that brings joy and beauty into your daily existence.
Smell
What scents trigger meaningful memories or uplifting emotions in you?
Create a signature essential oil blend that fills you with delight. Diffuse it in your home. Create a linen spray for your sheets with it. Create a roll-on perfume with it.
Stir your intentions into a seasonal simmer pot and fill your home with good smells and good vibes—oranges and cloves in winter, rosemary and mint in spring, lavender and rose petals in summer, cinnamon and apples in autumn.
Pick up a candle from your favorite local shop infused with favorite scents or herbs.
Add some fragrant wood into your next fire—pine, hickory, maple. Even some cinnamon bark can add a little bit of magic.
Sight
What sights fill you with a sense of awe and gratitude?
See how many sunsets you can watch over the lake this season. They are different every night.
Schedule a standing date with the full moon. Spend time marveling at its light and bathing in its energy.
Pick some fresh flowers from your garden, or from the store. Place them in a beautiful vase in a room you spend a lot of time in.
Hang a new piece of art that stirs your soul. Whether you buy it or make it, surround yourself with creation.
Watch the flame of a fire or candle flicker and meditate on its dance.
Touch
What textures or sensations bring you comfort and relaxation?
Start your morning with a lymphatic self-massage. Feel the energy flow in your body and congestion clear.
Step outside and feel the brisk breeze. Let it awaken your senses and blow away any old stagnant energy.
Hold a warm cup of tea. Feel the comforting warmth seep into your hands. Enjoy your brew at the perfect temperature as you sip it.
End your day with a self-Reiki practice. Make it special. Place a warm lavender rice pack over your eyes. Place a crystal over an energy point on your body. Get cozy under a soft blanket. Feel your own loving Reiki touch.
Sound
What sounds bring you into harmony and resonance?
Light a candle with a wooden wick and listen to its soothing crackle.
Create a playlist of songs that make you feel alive and let it play as you clean, cook, fold the laundry, or run errands.
Listen to your cat purring, a natural frequency of healing and peace.
Sing or chant. Play with your voice. Feel the way it shifts your energy and brings you into harmony.
Sit in stillness and listen to nature –the whispers of the wind, the rustling of leaves, the lapping of the waves.
Taste
What does nourishment and pleasure taste like?
Treat yourself to your favorite bakery item. Savor every bite without guilt.
Enjoy seasonal vegetables or fruit from the farmer’s market or from your garden. Taste how flavorful and fresh the produce is. Enjoy nourishing yourself.
Make a golden latte before bed—an ayurvedic warm hug for your insides full of flavorful, healing spices.
Eat mindfully, appreciating the textures, flavors, and care that went into your meal.
CREATE A LIFE THAT FEELS LIKE LOVE
Self-care isn’t just for special occasions; self-care is a daily practice of loving yourself. When you engage in these small yet sacred acts, you remind yourself that you are worthy –of love and care—just by virtue of being. You shift your vibration and become a magnet for the same energy you cultivate. You fill your cup so full of love and care that you have an abundance to share with all those around you.
Love yourself like the divine being you are. Watch how love grows all around you.
So, how will you love yourself today?
Comments